First, a disclaimer. These posts may mean very little to those of you who aren't well versed in baseball lingo. I'm just getting started in this and I apologize if I make references to things like OPS+, the Mendoza Line, or the Battle of Alfrontanagazonega of 1252 without any explanation. Maybe one of these days I'll get around to writing a post explaining some of my more often used statistics and phrases.
After a disappointing 2009 in which he won three fewer games than forty-six year old Jamie Moyer, Carlos Zambrano looked to bounce back early and reposition himself as the ace of the Cubs pitching staff. And you would think that on the Cubs, that should be a pretty reasonable aspiration for anyone who has ever won eighteen games in the national league, or anyone who as ever heard of the national league.
Let's take a look at how opening day went for Mr. Zambrano. Keep in mind that he doesn't hesitate to tell the media that he is capable of winning the Cy Young every year.
In a matchup against another overrated and overpaid starter, Zambrano managed to make it through an inning and a third today. He gave up eight earned runs on six hits and two walks in that stretch. He also managed to make a throwing error. Remember that this was against a Braves offense that isn't exactly known to strike fear into the hearts of pitchers.
Zambrano starts the year with an earned run average of fifty-f0ur. Anyone can have a bad start, but I'd venture to say that anyone who anchors a pitching staff can go two innings in any given start, too. I've hoped the Cubs would trade Zambrano for years, but at this point I'm afraid he'd have to have five or six quality starts in the same season if they expect to get anyone for him who has played high school ball or higher. If all else fails, let him play left field and hit sixth. I honestly believe if he played everyday, Zambrano would hit for a better average and have similar power numbers to that awful Soriano, who would be a threat to lead the league in strike outs every year if it weren't for Mark Reynolds shattering all of the records. And don't get me started in Soriano's fielding...
Thanks for reading! Maybe someday I'll have a catchy phrase to put at the end of these.
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But everybody knows about the Battle of Alfrontanagazonega of 1252... That was the one where King Albokeke took over the entire Zichibulean Empire with just a thousand Enchnilgifo warriors and a few Molimbergs, right? Or am I confusing it with the Battle of Alfrontanagazonega of 1152 again?
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